sleep really IS for the weak... i have decided. hm.

does anybody else ever randomly look back over their previous blog posts? i can't be the only one who does that.
anyways, what i've noticed from doing this is that there is in fact a pattern. i know, i know... it's hard to believe that there would be any relation between some of the random posts, ramblings, etc. that i've blogged over the months... years... and it's not necessarily that there is any similarity between the subjects of the posts, but more that there is a relationship between my posting and what's going on in my life at the time. FOR EXAMPLE... when i'm feeling particularly smitten about somebody (other than myself ;) ) it seems that i update rather more frequently, which is kinda nice... but then at times like these, i don't post anything... and this is when i think i feel the most conflicted. i just can't post what i'm thinking, what i'm feeling, about anything because sometimes (believe it or not) i actually DON'T want to make little secret references to things and i want to just say "hey you! you suck a lot! and by "you" i, of course, mean... " but then it trails off because i don't actually want everybody on the planet to know what i want you to know.

oh hey... so, remember that commercial where the kids like, "mommy says we have 2 ears and 1 mouth so it's better to listen than to do ALL the talking." ? ya... i'm bad at that sometimes. haha. and i wanted to apologize for that... because i've recently been doing a lot of talking with some people and not quite so much listening... BUT BUT BUT i did give them a chance to talk. i even asked questions. they just didn't take their little opportunities. heheh. anyways... this is my apology... even if i do 'worry too much'... :P

and here's my last random thought tonight...
everytime, and i do mean EVERY time, i think about it... or him...
... i wish it was you... he was you... meh.