i'm being trained on mowing the rough at the golf course right now. it's pretty cool... i mean, as cool as driving around making lines (perfect lines that go in the right directions and don't overlap too much) whilst freezing my butt off, can be. but still, i would have to say that i am thoroughly enjoying this job so far. *big thumbs up* probably the only down side is the early mornings... i'm still adjusting and trying to get myself to sleep earlier, but so far it's not working out great. maybe one day i'll just get so tired i'll pass out involuntarily and then i won't have to convince myself that it's a good idea to go to bed at 9 o'clock.

i want to know. no matter how much i don't actually think it's true (which could just be that i don't want to believe it), i can't ignore all the points being made. granted that those points are coming from a slightly biased individual... it doesn't make them any less likely.
so.... how do you ask a possibly very sensitive question without offending or pressuring? and how do you make yourself supportive of whatever the answer... knowing that one answer would break your heart?
it sucks that i know i would be supportive no matter what because right now i feel like i would want to scream... stupid friends. stupid love. :Z

i don't care if i'm giving something for nothing... it only seems like nothing to everybody else. i'm tired of defending myself. if i want to do it, i'm going to do it...
... eventually i'll get somebody to come walking with me and then i'll get "something for nothing" too.