i'm going to do it. after much deliberation and frustration i am finally going to say something! yah! maybe... i thought that if i started with confidence then i could convince myself but now i honestly am not so sure. it has been six years...count 'em...SIX! that this has been going on for, a war raging inside of my mind and i don't think i can really do it anymore because it is beginning to consume me. okay, i know that sounds way overly dramatic but that's how i feel more often than not. this isn't making any sense, i'm sure, but to tell the truth i'm not so sure what i'm trying to accomplish here anyways. i'm fairly certain that i currently have ONE reader so i'm basically talking to brendan here but that's alright. (btw, thanks for reading brendan. it makes me feel important :) ) so maybe i'll just ask out right for an opinion on this matter. a male point of view would definately help the decision here. the scenario is this: i have this 'friend', we'll call her suzy, and she likes this guy, call him stan. so suzy and stan are friends...they're not super close and don't see each other very often but suzy still can't help liking stan. suzy is pretty sure that stan does not feel the same way and she is okay with that but she would like to try and "get over" stan now. suzy is thinking that perhaps if she let stan know how she felt then it would be easier for her to move on but her concern is how this might affect stan. so, put yourself in stan's position for a moment...would you be okay with finding out about suzy's feelings for you, though inevitably your relationship would not be the same, or would you be completely freaked out? that's probably the wrong way to put it but you get the idea. anyways, this is such a silly thing to be worrying about but as i said, after 6 years it's already a little ridiculous. wow...saying that makes me feel like a loser. god. ok, well i'm going to leave this post, against my better judgement, and i am going to go listen to my tbs and drown out the sound of my stupid fucking brain. (*note* the names have been changed to protect the innocent/guilty - or more likely, because i guarantee that there is only one person who might read this that wouldn't know who i was talking about but i'm pretty sure she won't read it anyways)