i'm so bored with everything right now. i hate that but it's true. young-adult life is so tedious...that's not to say that 'old-adult' life is not tedious but when you're young and anxious the tediousness seems so much more emphatic and frustrating. it's like, all i ever do is work...either at the store or for school. nothing is for me anymore. i know that i've said this so many times but it's just reinforcing it that the reason i am not at home for thanksgiving is because i have midterms and papers that need to be prepared for and that just wouldn't happen at home. plus, i'm at home by myself tonight (in the ghetto) and i'm a little freaked because the cat is acting really weird...she's just lying at the front door with periodic bursts of meowing, she has NEVER done this before so it's weirding me out a bit, and normally i would just shrug something like this off but with the yelling that was going on out in the street earlier i'm not going to take anything for granted. i mean, there was somebody murdered on the corner not more than a month ago, and that's freaky. and anything could happen, nothing is for sure, right?not to say that i think somebody is going to come attack me but i don't want to see that shit either. consider american history x, an amazing film with an incredible cast...edward norton is so amazing at portraying derek in this movie that you can't not appreciate his talent, but the whole movie puts so much into perspective and how everything you do in your life shapes the rest of your environment (including the people around you), and even once you realize this fact it can always be too late. that sucks...a lot.

"So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'"