sometimes i just want to scream so loud that my ears pop and my throat cuts. more than anything else on earth, i hate being confused. because right along with the confusion comes frustration and anger and i hate being angry. and i dont understand why somebody would want me to feel this way but apparently he does. the good that comes from this is that i'm learning to control myself much better...i know how to make myself calm, and i dont have to be bitter about it, and i can overlook the bad stuff and notice that there's something good coming out too. it just drives me mad that he enjoys doing this to me and he doesnt realize the effect of his actions. i guess what's the greatest about it is that i am able to laugh at everything and that makes it easier to get through it. and we can know that this was meant to happen, even if it was unwanted and fake. i'm done.
"i hate everything about you, why do i love you?"